Your child, who had no problem walking into the front doors of school with a smile, now cries at drop off or complains of a stomach ache every Monday morning. It can all feel very sudden. Often, it is not. Anxiety rarely presents itself in a convenient or easily understood way. Sometimes it is a sudden push back against an underlying stressor and sometimes it appears as simple exhaustion. Many parents in Denver or Lakewood ask us this question on a regular basis and the reality is, there is rarely a clear answer. There is, however, an understanding of what might be going on underneath it that helps to guide your next steps, whether that be talking it through at home, consulting with your child's pediatrician, or getting additional support in place.

Why Sudden School Anxiety Isn't Really Sudden

Very seldom is there just one root cause. In most cases, these underlying stresses build up until a breaking point or a particularly taxing situation arises that pushes a child's anxiety over the edge.

A big life transition such as moving from elementary to middle school or high school can be a big factor, as well as smaller shifts within the same building like a homeroom change or a friendship falling apart unexpectedly. Another factor could be a sudden jump in academic expectations. Reading level requirements, testing dates and standards, and a lot more come due much earlier and more frequently than in years past and a child can feel like they're constantly in catch up mode without realizing it.

Outside of school, life can take a toll as well. Things like a divorce, a move, parent health struggles, or a lot of financial strain can be very taxing on kids even if they seem to be in a healthy headspace.

For some kids, an underlying learning struggle or attention deficit is the real cause or part of the cause because the struggle to keep up can absolutely manifest as anxiety in a school setting, particularly if that's the first time they've really noticed it. This is also a reason that anxiety and ADHD often go hand in hand for school aged children. It's not that your child is broken, it's that a lot has piled up and it's worth understanding precisely what it is so you know what to do next.

We have an overview of common mental health struggles and when to seek support article that you may find helpful if you're trying to understand the bigger picture around what may be going on.

Recognizing the Symptoms of Academic Anxiety

Academic related anxiety in a younger child is not typically expressed verbally so it's often very difficult to put a finger on exactly what's going on. It often looks like a stomachache every morning on the weekdays and sudden wellness on the weekends or a headache that magically goes away by Saturday. Some kids may become obsessed with correcting and redoing work while others may suddenly become very afraid to ask for help or raise their hands in class. Poor sleep can also often be a factor with school anxiety, where children have trouble getting to sleep on the weekend or wake up very early in the morning with a stomach ache. The inability to sleep properly can become a feeding loop with anxiety because lack of sleep makes it harder to handle the next day. The symptoms are very real, so it's worth treating them as such, and we have an article on the body's language for when it's hurting and a guide to sleep and it's connection to emotional health.

Additionally, it's unlikely that a young child will benefit from traditional talk therapy because they likely don't have that capacity quite yet. Therapy for younger children is better served through play therapy and non directive art therapy

How Anxiety Looks Different In Teenagers

As kids reach their teenage years, a lot of the symptoms of anxiety change. Often, irritability presents as one of the primary ways anxiety shows up and can be very easy to misinterpret as simply being annoyed when really it's a manifestation of unease. A lot of teens will begin to withdraw from friends and activities they previously enjoyed as a way of coping and this can often be mistaken for being "mean" or "angry".

Some teens will outright refuse to go to school and be unable to explain why or talk through it.

They may begin to struggle with grades more frequently if anxiety is impacting their ability to focus on a daily basis. The physical symptoms persist as well with tightness in the chest and abdominal pain that can cause panic attacks among teenagers, although this can be very difficult to identify because teenagers tend to self shame around their mental health struggles. A big factor in anxiety for teenagers is a belief that things like grades and school performance define them and failing at them means failing as a person. If you're trying to distinguish between standard teenage angst and something that might need more help, our article on common signs of anxiety and what to do about them can be a good resource.

The individual therapy side of things tends to be better suited for teenagers because they can usually verbalize things pretty well at this age, although they're still developing their emotional regulation skills. Two common types of therapy for anxiety are Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and ACT or Acceptance and Commitment Therapy and we have a general overview of how each approach can be helpful. The broader mental health and anxiety support page can also be a good resource to start browsing.

When the Anxiety in the House Is Also Yours

Sometimes we get asked the question in a slightly different light. Why am I suddenly anxious about school as an adult? Watching a loved one struggle can be particularly difficult if you've been through something similar because you know what the struggle is like and internalizing it in a way an adult can. There's also the reality that school can be logistically taxing on parents and caregivers as well as the stress of communicating with teachers, doctors, and other support people. That's worth acknowledging and seeking help for if you feel like that's what you need.

If you're struggling with your own anxiety while helping a loved one, family therapy can help when your personal mental health issues and the mental health issues of your child aren't separate things, in fact they're feeding into each other. We actually have a Walk & Talk Therapy path that helps get kids and adults alike out of their heads and into their bodies as a way of processing things, which can be particularly effective for anxious youth. If you're somewhere near the Lakewood area, there's also a guide to mindfulness in the Denver area that you can explore on your own.

There's never a right or wrong moment to seek additional support and there's nothing wrong with waiting until your child or yourself are in a better place. That being said, it's often helpful to have additional support when you recognize what's happening so reaching out is always a good idea.

You can learn more about us on our About Us page and find out more about our team and the different things we do. We see a lot of conditions in our Denver and Lakewood offices including anxiety related issues and ADHD and trauma, and we do telehealth video appointments for those who need them.

As a footnote, we accept Medicaid, Select Health and most insurances and you can read more about that on our Insurance & Fees page or look over some of the most common questions on our FAQ page. If you're ready to seek additional support for anxious youth, you can always fill out the contact form or let your child's pediatrician know. Every family's situation is different, so there's no wrong way to start.

References

• Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. (2023). Anxiety and depression in children. U.S. Department of Health and Human Services.
• Ghandour, R. M., Sherman, L. J., Vladutiu, C. J., Ali, M. M., Lynch, S. E., Bitsko, R. H., & Blumberg, S. J. (2019). Prevalence and treatment of depression, anxiety, and conduct problems in US children. The Journal of Pediatrics, 206, 256–267.
• National Institute of Mental Health. (2022). Anxiety disorders. U.S. Department of Health and Human Services.
• Racine, N., McArthur, B. A., Cooke, J. E., Eirich, R., Zhu, J., & Madigan, S. (2021). Global prevalence of depressive and anxiety symptoms in children and adolescents during COVID-19. JAMA Pediatrics, 175(11), 1142–1150.
• Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration. (2023). Recognizing and supporting students with anxiety in school settings. U.S. Department of Health and Human Services.